"World Literally Ending if Elon Buys Twitter" -Media Elite, Auto Racing a Varsity Sport in Wisconsin, New Harry Potter Movie is Gay, Just Not in China (The Five for 04/15/22)
Hey, welcome to the Friday Edition…once again on Saturday.
Couple of notes before we dive in.
The project is far enough along, I should probably tell you I’m releasing a novel this year. The yet-to-be-named project will release for free, to promote accompanying NFT art. More on that later.
After about a year of turning away all potential clients…I’ll have a bit more capacity to offer marketing and business strategy help soon.
Let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
The “Elon Musk buying Twitter?!” topic is moving so quickly, I can’t keep up in order to deliver timely news.
So, instead, here’s how much media elites are freaking out. (Sourced from this Twitter thread).
Just to recap what was just said…
…if a website
…is purchased by the guy who makes electric cars
…the world will end in a global conflict.
Well, this guy is more obsessed with the past than fearing the future.
Instead of WWIII, we’re looking at WWII all over again.
Pick one, blue checks.
I need to know what world war I’m gonna die in.
As said by the Washington Post.
Which was purchased by the world’s second richest man, Jeff Bezos.
As a vanity project.
Yes, exactly.
The founders of this country who bled out on the battlefields of this new nation.
Sacrificed their lives fighting the British.
So that we could invent modern democracy.
But, as those young boys were gasping for their last breaths through collapsed lungs and broken ribs from English musket balls.
Their final wish.
Was that their sacrifice wouldn’t be for nothing.
That the America they spent their lives to build.
Would be preserved.
Because The Babylon Bee was suspended from Twitter for a joke.
Which is the only way a Constitutional Republic can survive.
If we let satire sites tell jokes on Twitter.
Everything will be lost.
The White House will burn.
The Russians will capture the original copy of the Constitution as they sack every major cities.
Let it never come to pass.
[two]
In an ironic turn after Disney’s proclamation to push LGBT+ messaging into shows for very young children, the new Harry Potter movie will edit out a gay reference for release in the Chinese market.
References to a gay relationship in “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” were edited out of the movie by Warner Bros. for the film’s release in China. Only six seconds of the movie’s 142-minute runtime were removed. Dialogue that was edited out alluded to the romantic past between male characters Dumbledore (Jude Law) and Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen). “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling revealed Dumbledore was gay in 2009, but the movies had never explicitly referenced the character’s sexuality until this third “Fantastic Beasts” entry.
But it’s not homophobic if Hollywood does it for China, because…money!
“As a studio, we’re committed to safeguarding the integrity of every film we release, and that extends to circumstances that necessitate making nuanced cuts in order to respond sensitively to a variety of in-market factors,” Warner Bros. said in a statement to Variety. “Our hope is to release our features worldwide as released by their creators but historically we have faced small edits made in local markets.”
“In the case of ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore,’ a six-second cut was requested and Warner Bros. accepted those changes to comply with local requirements but the spirit of the film remains intact,” the statement added. “We want audiences everywhere in the world to see and enjoy this film, and it’s important to us that Chinese audiences have the opportunity to experience it as well, even with these minor edits.”
Let me translate that.
”Respond sensitively to in-market factors” means “we bend the knee to China for profits.”
Not sure I’m following Hollywood’s logic here.
Why is is that the same industry believes American pre-schoolers must learn LGBT+ content in cartoons, but Chinese elementary school and tweens must not be exposed to the same content?
[three]
There’s a new varsity high school sport in Wisconsin….auto racing.
Ask any racer, series director, sanctioning body, or track operator to name the main issue discouraging youth participation in motorsports. Cost is the likely answer. For any kind of auto racing, the dollars multiply quickly when factoring in the vehicle, safety equipment, fuel, travel, and entry fees.
In 2020, operators of two Wisconsin oval tracks launched what they believe could be a scalable solution: put high school students in stock cars—that is, genuinely stock automobiles—and have them compete in support races for other series. Chuck Deery, general manager of La Crosse Fairgrounds Speedway in West Salem, teamed up with Gregg McKarns, owner of Madison International Speedway in Oregon, to form the High School Racing Association (HSRA).
HSRA’s plan seems simple enough. High school students race pre-2005 V-6-powered American front-drive sedans outfitted with some mandatory safety equipment. No performance modifications are permitted. Races take place on 3/8-mile-or-smaller ovals, with speeds generally reaching 50-60 miles per hour.
While the students are responsible for all equipment, costs and transportation to races, school colors and mascots are on display, and one high school (so far) is offering a varsity letter for auto racing.
[four]
Just nine percent of Americans think COVID is still a serious crisis, according to a new poll from Axios.
[five]
The Batman will move to streaming after just 46 days in theaters, continuing the trend of movies moving to home-viewing much faster, which began during COVID.
Catch it on HBO Max on Monday, 04/18.
This is a dark, long, psychological thriller…I can’t recommend it highly enough. Unless, of course, you don’t like movies like that.
A trailer has FINALLY dropped for Stranger Things season 4, and it’s very VERY obvious we haven’t seen the kids on screen in three years. The last season wrapped in 2019.
Season 4 will be split into two parts, with the first batch of episodes debuting on Netflix on May 27th. The show will end (presumably in 2023) after the 5th season…but showrunners the Duffer Brothers have teased a number of sequel and spinoff shows in the works.
In the era of Wokeism, it seems like fewer and fewer comedies are released each year, which is all the more reason to look forward to Senior Year on Netflix. Rebel Wilson (Bridesmaids, The Hustle) stars as an early aughts teenager who falls into a two decade coma, only to wake up and take a shot at finishing high school just shy of 40.
Hitting Netflix May 13th. First trailer here.
A decade after the Matthew McConaughey take on the popular novel series, The Lincoln Lawyer is getting a reboot, this time as a TV show rather than a movie, from creator David E. Kelly (Big Little Lies, Boston Legal). The lead role is being filled by a relative unknown, but Neve Campbell (House of Cards, Scream) is playing a main character, and the biggest name attached to the project.
Streaming on Netflix May 13th. First trailer here.
A second decade-old-ish movie is getting a reboot, with the 2009 R-rated comedy Ted getting a fresh version of the foul-mouthed Teddy Bear. The original starred Mark Whalberg and Mila Kunis.
Plot details and a premier date are scarce…but you’re not watching a show about a weed smoking Teddy Ruxpin for the plot.
On Hulu…sometime.
NEW MUSIC: Mega-selling singer/songwriter Jewel is back after a seven year hiatus. It’s tough to pin the new album down…but the opening track features a full horn section, if that tells you anything. Somehow, the Alaska native has managed to genre hop frequently without ever coming off as inauthentic.
Until the next one,
-sth