The Phenomenon of "Dating Pool Dropouts" Threatens the Economy, Apple's Fall From Pop Culture Grace, Johnny Depp's Epic "Pirates" Comeback (The Five for 09/15/23)
Plus, Tom Hardy's new biker gang movie in 1960's Chicago looks epic.
Hey, welcome to The Five.
Let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
The best writing I found this week comes from The Free Press, which took a deep dive into the “dating pool dropouts.”
To see if things were as bad as they claimed, I joined two major dating platforms—Tinder and Hinge—and posed as a hip, 30-year-old business owner with a full head of hair and a degree from NYU. A few swipes in, I spotted a busty blonde leaning over in a halter dress with the caption, “Together we could find out if you’re lying about your height.”
Then, a 22-year-old, captured in a selfie at her work cubicle with her cleavage resting on her desk, wrote: “Don’t superlike me if ur ugly I already have a lot going on.”
Another woman, a five-feet-two-inch bombshell named Ashly, warned men: “If you [are] one of those ‘split the check’ or not wealthy. . . NEXT.”
That financial pressure is what screws men over most, said Jess Carbino, the former in-house sociologist for Tinder and Bumble.
“The traditional markers of adulthood like buying a home, completing college, and getting married, are all becoming far harder to achieve,” Carbino said. “Many men perceive themselves to be far less marriageable. And in turn, many women perceive them to be less marriageable, too.”
She says it’s never been easy to be Joe Average on the dating market but things are rougher now that the average man’s salary, which hovers just above $61,000 in the U.S., is hardly enough to afford rent in most major American cities. Yet still, many women hold out for men who make not just as much or more than they do, but are also wildly attractive.
While the sexual revolution freed women from depending on men for income or stability, it also means they can privilege more “frivolous” qualities in a mate, says Rob Henderson, a psychology PhD with a Substack on social mores.
“People used to care a bit more deeply about moral character and hard work, and whether the person was an ethical and upstanding citizen,” he tells me. “And now, you don’t have to worry about that quite as much. And you can sort of focus on things that are just, like, more immediate, like attraction.”
The result? Men at the tip-top of the dating pool get everything. And the men who don’t have it all get nothing.
But even the alphas are feeling the squeeze.
One New York City–based psychologist, David Gordon, says many of the high-powered men he treats—including doctors, lawyers, and financiers—fret over their ability to attract a woman, despite their enviable salaries or careers.
“It’s kind of sad or tragic, but some guys will look at their bank accounts, stocks, or credit score every day, as if it’s some sort of measure of their value,” he says. “We can look at the numbers, and I’m like, ‘Dude, looks pretty good to me.’ ”
I’ve been married for nearly a decade, now with two kids in tow…and I can’t say I know a whole lot about what the dating world is like for 20-30somethings now that I’m living the life of a 40something business owner…but I see all kinds of practical and philosophical issues here.
Let’s set the personal aside and just look at the economic issues surrounding the drop in dating an marriage:
A). Home ownership. Single people are more likely to rent, which builds less wealth.
B). Education & Labor force. Less dating…less marriage…less kids being born…elementary schools are shutting down…less people to grow up and work…which means my gigantic generation (Millennials) will one day suck up a LOT of social security, with less people paying in, because we didn’t have many kids per capita.
C. National security. I don’t want China and Russia to nuke us and invade sometime in the next two decades…but the probability of something like that happening is now north of zero. So, yeah, it takes young people to hold off an invading hoard…
It would be odd to argue that marriage and children are for everybody (which slides into personal dictatorship/the government dramatically over-encroaching on your life), but when those things are chosen by almost nobody, the wheels start to fall off of the elements that keep society running.
And that benefits no one, regardless of relational status.
[two]
The once infallible (at least when it comes to branding) Apple had a major misstep this week, when their new phones and smart wathes were overshadowed by…one of the oddest commercials I’ve ever seen.
If you haven’t seen it (and don’t feel like watching the link above), the gyst is that Apple has to “report” to mother nature on their progress as a company. It’s poorly written, tries to be funny and isn’t…and CEO Tim Cook just…isn’t very good at presentations, let alone acting. To be fair, Cook has grown Apple by leaps and bounds since he took over as the hand picked successor of Steve Jobs, on his literal death bed.
The fact that the new Apple Watch is a carbon neutral product was not just overshadowed, but forgotten about in the preachy, scolding tone of the commercial.
Now, let’s compare that to The Gambler 500, a Missouri event in which people are encouraged to buy old cars for as close to $500 as possible, and drive 500 miles offroad while picking up trash. If the group finds anything they can’t move (i.e. an old couch, washer and dyer), they flag it on an app for other volunteers to come get.
My buddy did the event in a Mazda convertible…off-roaded :)
Perhaps Apple’s fall from advertising grace stems from the fact that they won…they invented the smartphone and made their platform the biggest in the world.
Now, the once scrappy underdog run by the late Jobs is gigantic…and gigantic companies play defense, not offense, by definition (after all, they’re #1).
Still, we’re missing something from the pop culture lexicon that, apparently, will never be repeated.
Apple provides some of the best of pop culture via iTunes, Apple Music and Apple TV.
But Apple once WAS pop culture. I guess it couldn’t last forever…how far from the iconic dancing iPod commercial the tech giant hath strayed.
[three]
Those are the same people…the photo on the left is after eight days in the Alaskan wilderness…stranded just SIX MILES from their hotel.
A Tennessee couple who went missing in the Alaska wildness for eight days recalled their tortuous ordeal as they ran out of food quickly, didn’t sleep and encountered bears.
Jonas Bare, 50, and Cynthia Hovsepian, 37, explained how their ordeal unfolded while attempting to take a brief three-hour hike on August 10 during a birthday trip in Fairbanks, Alaska.
“By simple bad choices, a three-hour hike led to an eight-day survival,” Bare told Alaskan radio station KUAC. “We made camp over the eight days [in] four different places to reassess what we were going to do.”
The man also recalled how the couple met some furry friends in the wilderness, which kept them up at night.
“We ran across a couple bears. Nothing that was really scary for us, but we were very vigilant about our surroundings all through the night,” he said. “You can’t sleep, you have to keep a fire going, you just take little breaks here and there and you just keep pushing.”
Here’s a good opportunity for me to jump in with some quick reccomendations:
A. If you’re going out well beyond cell phone signal coverage…get a GPS texting device to keep in touch with loved ones…and to signal for help if you’re in bad shape. I use the Spot X, which is $7/month (I only activate on months I’m going to use it).
B. AllTrails and Gaia are apps that work off your phone’s GPS (no cell tower required) for an epic number of trails in the U.S. (I recommend Gaia in the Outside Magazine bundle for $24/year).
C. Get a compass. You shouldn’t go too far from society without a general idea of which way it is back to help. Even without a map, a compass should get you out. Get a four pack of water purifier straws for $40, and put them in all your bags and vehicles. You can live without food for 8 days…you don’t want to be drinking contaminated water.
D. Stop believing the propaganda that bears are cuddly Disney animals.. If you’re getting a dedicated woods gun, I recommend the Taurus Public Defender Poly, loaded with 1 round of .410 birdshot (for snakes) and the rest of the cylinder with 45 Long Colt, which will stop a bear. Carry in the 5.11 chest rig, to avoid intimidating other hikers. Strap bear mace and a tourniquet to the outside. Or, get some Buffalo Bore ammo for the gun you already have, to hit dangerous game (bears, hogs) hard enough to save your life.
[four]
The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has been uber popular, but was ended due to Amber Heard’s allegations against Johnny Depp, which were since proven false in a court of law.
Now, Depp will be returning with a script penned by a co-creator of the HBO mega hit The Last of Us.
The upcoming sixth Pirates Of The Caribbean movie has such an oddball script, one of its writers is amazed Disney accepted it.
Craig Mazin, who wrote the acclaimed HBO miniseries Chernobyl and co-created the network's The Last Of Us, made the candid confession to Variety.
He has now written the next Pirates Of The Caribbean film with Ted Elliott, who himself co-wrote the first four movies in the series with Terry Rossio.
'We pitched it and thought there’s no way they’re buying it, it’s too weird. And they did!' Craig revealed in his new interview.
'And then he wrote a fantastic script and the strike happened and everyone’s waiting around,' the showrunner added.
The previous five movies in the franchise were led by Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, a character who became beloved by legions of fans all over the world.
A spinoff film, starring Margot Robbie (Barbie, The Suicide Squad) is also in the works from the same writer who penned DC’s Birds of Prey (an uneven effort-but it had some good moments).
[five]
Tom Hardy (Warrior, Lawless) is my favorite actor of the last 15 years, so I’m beyond pumped to see him paired up with Austin Butler (Elvis, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), Jodie Comer (Killing Eve, The Last Duel) and Boyd Holbrook (Logan, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny), team up to tell the true story of The Vandals, an outlaw biker gang in 1960’s Chicago.
December 1st, I plan to be at my local theater for The Bikeriders.
Julia Garner (Ozark, Inventing Anna) and Jessica Henwick (Game of Thrones, Glass Onion) star as a pair of backpackers who sign up to work in an Australian dive bar from some extra cash…when things go awry.
I’m usually down for a good thriller, which The Royal Hotel pitches itself as. We’ll find out when it hits theaters 10/6.
This one looks fun. New comedy The Burial is a true story of a funeral home director portrayed by Oscar winner Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive, Men in Black) who hires an eccentric lawyer (Jamie Foxx of Ray and Django Unchained fame) to battle a major corporate attorney (Jurnee Smollett-who hopes you remember she was in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country…and that you don’t Google who her brother is).
There are a lot of courtroom dramas…few try to be funny.
Catch it in theaters 10/6 (making it eligible for awards) or on Prime Video one week later.
NEW MUSIC
Grace Potter may or may not be a familiar name to you, perhaps as well known as a duet partner with Kenny Chesney and for her appearance on the uber popular 2000’s drama One Tree Hill as for her consistent solo output (her first album released in 2004).
Mother Road was inspired by Potter driving from L.A. to Vermont with her husband and son during the COVID lockdown. Sonically, Potter leans more heavily into Sheryl Crow and Fleetwood Mac for vocal inspiration, and trades her accomplished guitar solos for a nylon string acoustic guitar, borrowed from uber-producer pal Dave Cobb (Chris Stapleton, A Star is Born soundtrack). As the last bits of summer fades into fall, point your steering wheel towards an open road, throw this record on, and go pick an apple or two…
Until the next one,
-sth