The Cringe of "Conservative Calendar Girls," Game of Thrones Creators (Probably) Destroy Their Next Book-to-Screen Show, Sony Deletes PURCHASED Movies From Users' Accounts (The Five for 01/21/24)
Plus, the most compelling reason to start buying Blu Rays again.
Hey, welcome to The Five, a publication about the stories that matter.
Let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
Nineties pop-punkers Green Day did something pretty incredible this week…the East Bay, CA natives released their third highly acclaimed album in three decades, somehow exactly 20 years after their seminal album American Idiot and 30 years after their mega-hit breakthrough Dookie.
The trio may have started out as bratty punks in 1994, singing about boredom and being rejected by girls managed to grow into a rock powerhouse that had the guts to take on the Iraq War, the first musicians to speak out about an unwinnable invasion that cost more that resulted in between 270,000 and 315,000 deaths.
Apparently the band is trying to tap into the same counter-culture energy in 2024 by speaking out about Donald Trump…but there’s a problem. In 2004, Green Day were the FIRST band to make waves with anti-war messaging during the Global War or Terror. It took a heck of a lot of courage to speak up when speaking up could have cost Green Day everything.
But singing in the anti-Trump choir of 2024 alongside nearlyevery major Hollywood celeb and also-ran daytime TV host? It's hard to distinguish the signal from the noise there.
Two things can be true at once. Green Day made of the the best records of their career, and revived the rebellious attitude of punk… in spirit.
And…they're mainly singing those rebellious attitudes to fans in their 30s and 40s with mortgage payments and 401Ks. And that's about as milquetoast as pop culture can get.
It's hard to claim rebellion with a straight face when you're in the majority.
[two]
Well, the right wing of politics is all into “culture making” these days. Sometimes it goes well (Daily Wire+ releasing Lady Ballers, a hilarious throwback to early aughts comedies that don’t get made anymore) and other times…well, see for yourself.
Some beer brand called Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer release a pinup calendar called “Real Women of America,” by which they mean willing Conservative females with OK-ish Twitter stats.
Josie, pictured above, is typically a journalist for Timcast News who posts nothing like this. What’s offensive here is not that the photos are “boundary pushing” or “scandalous.” Quite the opposite…it’s just lame. And weird.
The shoot looks like like it was staged in the Bluth Model Home from Arrested Development…with Jesus looking on from his crucifix, reflected in the microwave. If this pic was taken for a college photography class, the student would flunk. The colors, setting and image balance are all terrible.
For decades, Conservatives have decried Hollywood, magazines, book publishers, record labels…you name it…for making content for mass consumption with a liberal bias, thinking the country would “turn right” if only they controlled the levers of media content.
The idea of a “hot chick calendar” is from another another era, when blue collar workers would often adorn their workspaces and garages with a window to the outside world (albeit an outside world that…was highly curated and edited and not available to 99.9% of the general public). Unlike books and vinyl records (which went digital and then experienced a strong resurgence in physical format), calendars have never really come back.
Turns out, there is something worse for a movement than not being allowed to create culture…and that is being given free reign, and making something that comes off as a parody of itself.
Plenty on the political right (or, more specifically the Twitter Political Right) felt uneasy with the whole thing, leading to the most awkward of headlines in Vox.
A lot of Conservatives are Christians (duh), and are not so down with calendar girls in general…nor with the crucifix being included (mocked) in a calendar girl photo.
Allegedly, the idea for the “Real Women of America” calendar came as a way to make fun of Bud Light’s deal with Dylan Mulvaney, which was still rippling in Q4 of this year as sales sank to a new all time low for the once iconic brand.
Not to be outdone, a “conservative beer” had to be invented…only to do something as equally tone deaf as Bud Light. In pop culture and politics, all one side has to do is not be totally cringe and crazy, and neither side can accomplish that.
Oh, and about beer in general…the hops in the drink raise estrogen levels in men, making it quite literally the most un-masculine drink in American life, no matter how it’s marketed.
[three]
Are there seven less trustworthy words in the world than “From the Creators of Game of Thrones.” The duo who [major spoiler alert] made Dani evil for no apparent reason and completely wasted Arya’s spy training (remember The Faceless Man stuff for two seasons…which went nowhere?) want you to watch something else they did.
The Three Body Problem is based on a Chinese language novel, and about time travel, or aliens. Maybe both. The production looks expensive, but I’m not sure I want to open my heart to D.B. Weiss and David Benieoff again.
It’s interesting that this show comes in the wake of the duo being fired from both an HBO original and a Star Wars project before landing at Netflix, according to The Hollywood Reporter:
After Thrones, Benioff and Weiss’ next TV project was supposed to be another HBO show: Confederate, a series order for which they brought on writers Malcolm Spellman (Empire) and Nichelle Tramble Spellman (Truth Be Told). Confederate was envisioned as an alternative-timeline drama in which the South has successfully seceded from the Union, slavery is still legal, and a new Civil War looms. The idea was to tell an anti-racism story, but all corners slammed the concept as woefully wrongheaded, and the project blinked out of sight. When asked about the Confederate reaction, Benioff and Weiss look stricken and take a long time to respond.
“It’s kind of a low point,” Weiss says softly. “You try things that feel like they are worth doing and some of them work out, and some don’t.”
Next was their Star Wars movie. Fans were excited by the idea of the Thrones guys bringing their grounded-fantasy dramatics to a galaxy far, far away. Yet the movie was shelved along with Star Wars projects from other top creatives (like Kevin Feige, Patty Jenkins and Damon Lindelof).
On it’s own merits, the trailer for The Three Body Problem looks great. On the other, the creators botched one show, then got fired from two major projects that never saw the light of day.
So will the public put their faith (and streaming hours) into the GOT duo once more?
We’ll find out shortly. The series drops on Netflix 03/21.
[four]
PlayStation deleted TV shows and movies from the libraries of users who had bought the content, and thought they owned it.
The message to users was short and not so sweet. Playstation/Sony noted, “As of 31 December 2023, due to our content licensing arrangements with content providers, you will no longer be able to watch any of your previously purchased Discovery content and the content will be removed from your video library.”
You can find the full list of Discovery titles that PlayStation was intending to remove from users’ accounts here. Among other titles, purchased versions of Cake Boss, Deadliest Catch, Dirtiest Jobs, Mythbusters, and more will vanish… Alongside the money users spent on purchasing them. Forbes notes that PlayStation meant to delete over 1,200 titles in total. As mentioned, there was no discussion of a refund or a way to download Discovery content purchased for PlayStation.
If there’s any justice in this world, Sony will get sued into oblivion.
If you want a compelling reason to return to buying physical media…there you go.
[five]
Guy Ritchie is a bit of a hit-or-miss director for me. Some of his work is brilliant (Sherlock Holmes, The Man From U.N.C.L.E.), while other decisions he’s made (the unwatchable King Arthur in 2017, marrying the American crackpot professionally known as Madonna) are much more questionable.
But dang…this latest gangster-ish series for Netflix looks fun!
Adam Sandler owned comedy in the mid-90’s (Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison) and some top-shelf dramas in the aughts (Reign Over Me is the most realistic picture of post-9/11 grief put to film), but he’s also made a lot of absolute garbage (Grown Ups 1-7 or how ever many there are now).
But dang it…when he’s on, he’s on. The Spaceman puts Sandler in the role of a solo astronaut who may be losing his mind over grief. This may cut a little too close to the plot of the novel-turned-movie Life of Pi. Carey Mulligan (The Great Gatsby, Drive) and Paul Dano (The Batman, There Will Be Blood) co-star in a movie without very much cast at all. Stream in 03/01.
Taylor Sheridan (Yellowstone, Lioness, 1923) is turning Empire of the Summer Moon into a movie. The book covers the true history of the incredible story of the Comanche tribe, which the book touts as “the most powerful Indian tribe in American history.” I mean, they were native to Oklahoma and raided MEXICO CITY…so, yeah.
The Comanche are the reason the Spanish Conquistadors never dared push north of Texas, and the reason the French turned back towards Louisiana in the early days of the Europeans in North America.
If Taylor does this right…and he tends to do all his projects right…this will be a heck of a movie up on the big screen.
Half dramatization/half documentary on the life of Alexander, one of the greatest military minds of all time? Heck yeah I’m in.
[new music]
Shane Smith & the Saints have rocketed up the charts over the last 24 months, thanks mainly to Yellowstone using their songs. The Texas natives are prepping their third album (out March 11th) and return with another baritone, downbeat single. If you love their sound…you’ll love “All the Way.” If you’re new to the band…these guys are worth a spin. If you like this one, Smith & The Saints’ forthcoming album Norther drops 03/11.
[listen]
My friend Vance Crowe recorded a podcast interview e.ith an Amish farmer (read that sentence again), for a conversation ranging from technology (and how an Amish farmer can be on a podcast) to the modern food system. It’s a heck of an episode.
Until the next one,
-sth
I think you turned me onto the music of both Shane Smith and Zach Bryan.
Salute to you for that!