Nuclear Power "Racist, Sexist and Ageist" According to [Really Stupid] Magazine, Oscar-Winning JUNO Writer Trashes Own Movie, Stranger Things Edited, Black Panther Sequel! (The Five for 07/22/22)
Hey, welcome to The Five.
Since my wife and I are anticipating the birth of baby #2 any day now, I’m going to scale The Five back to just one issue per week in August. Regular bi-weekly publication will resume in September.
Congress is on recess for the month, so there’s less policy and “hard news” events that are likely to happen…so we’ll just focus on the entertainment issue. (Err, weekly, as the delivery schedule may be a bit delayed).
This issue was supposed to drop last Friday, but that didn’t happen due to baby watch, doctors visits, etc. But the content was too good to skip completely, so I’m sending it to you today.
Let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
Diablo Cody produced a huge hit with Juno, the 2007 coming-of-age comedy about a teen girl who gives her baby up for adoption, went on record and completely trashed the only box office success she ever created after the overturning of Roe.
From The Hollywood Reporter:
I thought I was writing a sample; I was trying to get my foot in the door in Hollywood. It didn’t occur to me that the script was going to be produced. I certainly wasn’t thinking about it as this impactful opus that I’d be discussing 17 years later, that’s for sure.
That’s a weird take.
Most people who pen screenplays…probably want to get them produced and turned into movies, rather than just read.
Then Cody…went for her own jugular.
“I got a letter from some administrator at my Catholic high school thanking me for writing a movie that was in line with the school’s values. And I was like: ‘What have I done?’ My objective as an artist is to be a traitor to that culture, not to uplift it.”
Huh?
So, now she hates her own movie, because someone she hates liked it?
Shouldn’t the job of an artist be…to make compelling art?
Imagine if I came out and declared that the purpose of The Five is to “prove Canada sucks, and to be a traitor to Canada.”
Wouldn’t that likely result in a much worse publication?
Cody hasn’t done anything of note since Juno, as her other writing credits, including a forgettable horror film with Megan Fox, have all been pretty big flops.
But abortion is now a sacrament in the self-worshipping religion that is Hollywood, so Cody was likely compelled to destroy the only highlight of her career to remain in the club.
I'm willing to wager that Cody’s motivation to rage against her high school is also a prime factor in her box office failures.
You can't have a hit movie without a good story, and it's got to be tough to pen a compelling narrative when you're more concerned about making sure the movie offends the right people rather then connects with fans.
[two]
I put a lot of mental effort into keeping The Five from becoming a “Karen” publication, continually outraged over things that are really stupid but inconsequential (AOC faking being handcuffed, Ted Cruz saying stuff the Supreme Court will never do).
However, a really bad take on nuclear power is worth unpacking, as energy is one of the two biggest issues of this year (along with inflation).
From COUNTERPUNCH Magazine:
Let’s start with racism. The fuel for nuclear power plants comes from uranium, which must be mined. The majority of those who have mined it in this country — and would again under new bills such as the ‘International Nuclear Energy Act of 2022’ forwarded by not-so-progressive “Democrat”, Senator Joe Manchin (D-WV) — are Native Americans.
Yeah, that’s not true. It’s true that there were many natives working in these mines, but ZERO statistical evidence that the majority of miners were natives. (Read the full National Library of Medicine report here).
The author then claims nuclear power is, wait for it, sexist.
Nuclear power is sexist because exposure to the ionizing radiation released at every stage of the nuclear fuel chain harms women more easily than men. Women are more radiosensitive than men — the science is not fully in on this but it is likely connected to greater hormone production.
Well, women also LIVE longer than men, so is death itself reverse-sexist?
Or, are we attributing human traits (racism and sexism) to the scientific process of creating electricity from Uranium?
I’ll never claim to be well versed in science, as it’s just not something I’m interested in. But logic? That’s kinda my thing.
If there are scientific reasons not to expand nuclear power, then argue scientifically…not with Woke Stupidity that borders on self parody.
[three]
Fans of the Netflix hit Stranger Things are annoyed that the Duffer brothers, who created the show, are going back and editing earlier seasons to fix plot holes.
From GQ:
In an interview with Variety in early June, the sibling directorial duo confirmed plans to “George Lucas” — ie. retrospectively edit, as has been the Star Wars progenitor's unpopular bent with later editions of the original franchise trilogy — a moment in Stranger Things season two, owing to a fan-identified plot hole. It's a simple mistake of an expansive series costing $30 million an episode, really: the creative team set an episode of Stranger Things 4 on March 22, forgetting that it had been established as Will Byers' (Noah Schnapp) birthday in the earlier season.
Part of the fun, and lore, of movies and TV comes from finding the small plot holes and errors.
This is stupid.
Art isn’t supposed to be perfect.
[four]
Rockstar Games, makers of the uber-popular Grand Theft Auto series, are trying to get themselves out of hot water by introducing a female protagonist.
Rockstar’s next game, Grand Theft Auto VI, will include a playable female protagonist for the first time, according to people familiar with the game. The woman, who is Latina, will be one of a pair of leading characters in a story influenced by the bank robbers Bonnie and Clyde, the people said. Developers are also being cautious not to “punch down” by making jokes about marginalized groups, the people said, in contrast to previous games.
So…the game, about murderous bank robbers, will not have crass jokes and will let you murder people as a woman rather than a man.
Uhhh, the game is mainly about killing cops and civilians, so I’m not sure cutting down on the offensive humor and bumping up a bit of diversity is gonna matter to the critics of the franchise.
[five]
A ton of projects were just announced, so prepare for the biggest pop culture roundup of the year so far:
The question of whether or not the Legion of dissapointed Game of Thrones fans would tune into additional TV series produced in George R.R. Martin’s fanatsy world…has been answered. The first trailer for House of the Dragon dropped to massive fan praise.
Not to be outdone, Amazon released a full trailer of their competitor show, Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, which is clearly trying to combine the prestige of the original films with the massive fantasy TV audience G.O.T. helped create.
Sylvester Stallone enters the world of superheroes in Samaritan as a retired caped crusaser coaxed back into the line of duty by a young boy.
This feels much closer to Stallone’s retired boxer persona in Creed (aka Rocky 7) than anything the MCU is cranking out.
Hang tight for just a moment while I hyperventilate.
[Breaths into paper sack, calms down].
Ok, I’m back. Warrior, the sleeper hit from 2011, is considered by many (well, by my friends and I) as the Millennial generation’s Rocky. Nick Nolte was nominated for an Oscar for portraying the father of two estranged brothers (Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton) who reunite for the first time as as adults as opponents in a Mixed Martial Arts tournament.
Warrior is one of the best movies of the last 20 years…and now it may be one of the best TV shows too. Director Gavin O’Connell is adapting his story for an ongoing series for Paramount+.
Former UFC champ Daniel Comier and Gina Rodriguez of The Fast & The Furious franchise fame will fill two of the four lead actor positions.
No word on a release date yet.
The guy who created the hit show Euphoria and R&B superstar The Weeknd have a new 7-episode limited series coming to HBO…about the romance between a pop star and a cult leader or something. Meh.
I don’t personally care but this could find a large audience, given The Weeknd’s success and mass appeal.
ESPN hopes to repeat the success of The Last Dance, the documentary series that chronicled the Chicago Bulls with The Captain, which tells the tale of Derek Jeter and one of the greatest eras of the New York Yankees.
It’s directed by a mega-fan of both Jeter and the Yankees, so don’t go looking for hard nosed sports journalism in this one.
Worth noting that Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is racking up twice as many views as the original film. Marvel has has a handful of box office mis-steps as of late, so I’m sure the studio is looking for the big box office $$$ that a huge hit produces.
MOVIE/MY PICK
The Netflix original The Gray Man is pretty dang great, with excellent performances from Ryan Gosling (The Notebook, Drive), Chris Evans (Captain America, Avengers) and Ana De Armas (Knives Out). Ignore the critics and the 48% Rotten Tomatoes Score on this one, and give it a shot.
Netflix has already announced a sequel and a spin-off. The plot may be a little simplistic, but the all-in acting, frantic pace and stellar action sequences grab hold and don’t let you go.
MUSIC NEWS: It’s not everyday a legendary movie director shoots a music video…on an iPhone. But somehow Marcs Mumford (best known for Mumford and Sons) convinced Steven Spielberg to direct the music video for his first single. Spielberg had an assistant pull him around in a rolling office chair to achieve the camera angles.
NEW MUSIC:
Pop megastar Billie Eilish has two new songs out.
Singer-songwriter Joe Pug revisits his 2008 debut EP Nation of Heat, with help from Brandon Flowers of The Killers (backing vocals) and members of My Morning Jacket on the reinterpretation of his first songs.
Until the next one,
-sth