LA County Refuses Diddy Domestic Violence Prosecution, Psychedelic Drug Trip Inspired Ohio State Graduation Speech, Real African Samurai Comes to Scree-Amidst Controversy (The Five for 05/18/24)
Plus, Shane Gillis gets a sitcom. A Road House 2...whyyy?, This brilliant album from 2003 gets a full re-recording. Weirdo pastor begs for America to be a dictatorship.
Hey, welcome to The Five, a publication about the stories that matter.
Let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
Well, what a strange week where college graduation speeches were the most controversial topic in American culture. Odds are, you don’t remember your college graduation speech, but that’s because the speaker didn’t do drugs to write it.
The person selected to speak at Ohio State University’s commencement ceremony for its spring graduates didn’t mince details on how he made the controversial script.
Days before the Sunday ceremony, OSU’s chosen speaker Chris Pan said on LinkedIn that he had taken the psychedelic drug ayahuasca to write his first drafts.
“Got some help from AI (Ayahuasca Intelligence) this week to write my commencement speech for 60,000 grads and family members at Ohio State University next Sunday,” Pan wrote. “Tried ChatGPT but wasn’t that good.”
Pan was billed as a “social entrepreneur, musician and inspirational speaker” on the commencement’s program. But his speech and an on-stage demonstration with OSU President Ted Carter drew boos from the audience, audible in the university’s livestream, as Pan tried to encourage graduates and attendees to buy cryptocurrency.
You can watch the whole speech over on Twitter if you like, or you can just take my word for it that the whole thing is a babbling, incorherent pile of nonsense. But the Four Non Blondes singalong was actually kinda fun.
Chris Pan did post this to social media just before his speech…yup, the world agrees. You’re a crazy one.
In all seriousness, however, psychedelic drugs are being treated as this catch-all replacement for therapy (which there is limited evidence to support for extreme cases like PTSD from war)…but there are clearly HUGE risks. We watched The Sandlot last weekend with our oldest, and the post-script to the movie says that one character got “really into the Sixties, and nobody ever saw him again.”
Apparently were far enough from the hippie movement to forget that heavy psychedelic use carries the risk of completely losing your mind.
Elsewhere, the Kansas City Chiefs kicker quoted Taylor Swift and said Catholic-y things at a Catholic University graduation ceremony as a devout Catholic, and the internet lost it’s collective mind.
CNN reports:
The NFL is distancing itself from controversial comments by Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker during a recent commencement address. In addition to calling Pride Month a “deadly sin” and bemoaning diversity and equity initiatives, Butker set off waves of criticism when he suggested that women find more fulfillment through getting married and having children than by pursuing careers – directly after quoting a song by Taylor Swift.
The backlash has been building since Butker made the comments Saturday in an address to graduates at Benedictine College, a small Catholic school in Atchison, Kansas.
The NFL issued a statement Wednesday, saying Butker’s comments don’t reflect the views of the league.
Looking to what the NFL has failed to say much on…Butker’s teammate Rashee Rice comes to mind. From Outkick.com:
Rice was recently arrested on eight felony charges concerning a hit-and-run accident while drag-racing his Lamborghini at 119 mph on a Dallas highway.
Rice is fortunate. One of the vehicles he crashed into included a mother and her young child. He could have killed or injured them both, and himself. He also fled the scene before checking if his victims were okay or in need of medical attention.
The Dashcam footage of the wreck is pretty scary. In the era where some people truly believe “speech is violence” and “speech harms,” I promise that feeling insulted doesn’t hurt as much as a sports car hitting your vehicle at 119 miles per hour.
[two]
Oh boy…we’re doing this? Pastor Joel Webbon (who, surprisingly has a couple of podcasts I actually enjoy) went full totalitarianism, declaring the need for a dictator. Webbon doesn’t explain exactly WHY now is the moment we have crossed over into being so irredeemably wicked as a culture that a dictator is required, or where where we can find a dictator, nor does Webbon offer up any wisdom on where we can find such a person to rule over us in a way that won’t be completely horrible.
Perhaps Webbon should spend a little time with some of the refugees in the U.S. who fled dictators…and ask them how it was? I have no doubt that Webbon would shred American Marxists as being completely out of touch for following an ideology that killed more than 100 million people in the 20th century. But he’s popping off with the same amount of naivete of a spoiled college student…decades after he should know better.
Brandon Smith on Twitter burned this down better than I ever could:
[three]
LA County will not prosecute music producer/TV mogul/probable-child-rapist Sean “Diddy” Combs for domestic abuse, despite horrific video evidence.
The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office condemned Sean “Diddy” Combs’ shocking surveillance video, in which the music mogul is seen assaulting ex Cassie Ventura — but is unable to file charges.
The office of district attorney George Gascón explained in a lengthy statement released via Instagram Friday why their hands are tied due to the statute of limitations.
“We are aware of the video that has been circulating online allegedly depicting Sean Combs assaulting a young woman in Los Angeles,” the statement began.
“We find the images extremely disturbing and difficult to watch.”
The officials then explained that if Combs’ vicious attack did indeed take place in 2016 — as was reported by CNN who broke the story — then “unfortunately” they are “unable to charge as the conduct would have occurred beyond the timeline where a crime of assault can be prosecuted.”
According to legal experts, the statute of limitations for misdemeanor assault in California is one year and three years for felony assault. Since the altercation between Ventura, 37, and Combs, 54, occurred eight years ago, it has surpassed those deadlines.
The DA’s Office also pointed out in their statement that law enforcement has yet to present a case related to the violent attack, but encouraged “anyone who has been a victim or witness to a crime to report it.”
As sickening as this is, the DA is doing the correct thing here, this can’t be prosecuted due to the timeline. But somebody needs to plant some evidence against Boeing on Diddy’s laptop so the “situation resolves itself.”
[four]
I was thrilled to see one of my favorite historical characters, the only foreign-born Samurai in history, as the center of the upcoming Assassin’s Creed game.
But the people with the pronouns in their bio have decided telling a true story about a real life African is…racist.
Ubisoft, the creator of Assassin’s Creed, released a trailer for the new game Wednesday. The game, which will be released on Nov. 15, is set in feudal Japan and features two lead characters: Yasuke and Naoe. While Naoe is a fictional character, her father is real-life historical figure and shinobi Fujibayashi Nagato. Yasuke is a historical figure believed to have been of African origin who was a samurai during the 16th century. He is widely considered to be the first-ever foreigner to be granted warrior status in Japan, and was the inspiration for the Netflix anime series Yasuke.
But some fans took to the internet after the trailer’s release to criticize Ubisoft for setting the game in Japan and not having its leading character be Japanese.
“Assassin’s Creed being based in Japan and then NOT using a Japanese male protagonist is stupid,” said one fan on X. “We know exactly why they’re using Yasuke (THE MESSAGE) and it’s annoying. It would be as dumb as having it based in Africa and deciding to use a white male protagonist.”
“Ubisoft has never made a game with a male East Asian protagonist,” one fan said on X, replying to a post from Assassin’s Creed about the new game. “Do they hate East Asian males?”
There is an entire subgroup of people who would have no personality whatsoever if you took away their ability to be faux-outraged at non-controversy.
The story of Yasuke is one of the most fascinating true tales in history…I, for one, am thrilled.
[five]
Worth noting:
Jake Gyllenhall’s Road House remake is getting a sequel. As a pretty big fan of both Jake and Conor McGregor, I was hyped for the first one…but I’m not even sure if I finished it (I think I fell asleep). It’s hard to see how another outing in this franchise could be less-bad than the original. Count me out.
Reese Witherspoon will handle production duties to bring the ditsy-but-brilliant attorney Elle Woods to the small for a Legally Blonde prequel TV show for Prime Video. I can’t remember if I’ve seen the original films, or just recall clips from YouTube. Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine production company has a strong track record in both movies (Wild) and TV (Big Little Lies, Daisy Jones and the Six), it’s hard for me to imagine who was clamoring for more of a character that hasn’t been on the screen since 2003. But maybe the character is more well loved than I understand? No word on what actress will portray the younger Elle.
There were several missteps with the first season of Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power…but the biggest one was that there really wasn’t a plot. We spent a good 10 hours being introduced to characters and setup for future conflict.
Season 2, out in August, looks to be much more focused on action and big set pieces and battles. And hopefully less of those stupid proto-hobbit things.
Famously fired from SNL before he could record an episode, comedian Shane Gillis returned to the iconic sketch show this year as a host…and is now taking the next logical step as the star of a sitcom. Tires represents an aspect of American life rarely shown on TV—the daily lives of blue collar workers.
This looks great.
[new (old, remade) music]
There are a lot of “anniversary re-release” albums these days, and most of them are lovingly packaged with extras and b-sides (and a few are blatant cash grabs). But to revisit their seminal album Morning View, SoCal rock quintet Incubus went a different direction, and re-interpreted and re-recorded every song. Frontman Brandon Boyd’s vocals are as strong as ever, but it’s clear he’s not trying to karaoke a version of himself from 20 years ago.
Until the next one,
-sth