God vs. your Garmin Data (The Five for 06/05/26)
Plus, the influencer optimizing himself to death. CBS anchor learned screaming at your boss gets you fired. Taylor Swift producer drops one of the best records of the year.
Hey, welcome to The Five, a publication about the stories that matter, but don’t always make the front page.
It’s Friday, so let’s dive into Culture & Commentary.
[one]
If you haven’t followed the “biohacking” trend over the last few years, people are now obsessing about every detail of their day, from steps, to sleep stages…and it’s getting weird.
The poster child is Bryan Johnson, a tech bro who measures everything and has given up concerts because they are bad for his health (yeah, his explanation as to why is pretty garbled). In other words, to avoid dying, he’s giving up a lot of things that make life worth living.
And, as Evie Magazine points out, biohacking may not be the reason people live longer in certain regions.
“Contrary to popular belief, most of the world’s healthiest populations do not abstain from alcohol. In places such as Sardinia and Ikaria, moderate alcohol consumption—particularly red wine—is often part of social gatherings and meals. However, alcohol is typically consumed in small to moderate amounts, alongside food, and within a strong social context. They stay up late, share wine, and enjoy time together. This kind of behavior is a huge element of the stress management that contributes to their long, healthy, and happy life. No trackers or fitness watches. Zero concerns with optimization.
“Then you look at the rising popularity of people like Bryan Johnson...It’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t even go outside without using an umbrella in order to protect his skin from the sun. Each meal and supplement is precisely measured and tracked.
Granted, Bryan is at the extreme end of optimization, but the fact that he has gained this much popularity and has been featured on so many podcasts leaves me wondering, when did our lives become so sterile? So data-driven? So AI-like?”
You have to make your own call, but it doesn’t seem worth it to skip the cigar around a fire, the band’s three song encore, or a late night drink with friends in the name of longevity, nor is there evidence that giving up the things that bring meaning will even add years to our lives.
I take supplements, track my sleep and steps, and even use AI to build my workouts. But, at some point, my ticket is going to get punched. And so is yours. I’m betting bigger on the God of the Universe than the data in my Garmin for my long term plans.
The date that I’ll leave this world is something I don’t know…but I know life is too short to live like Bryan Johnson, and give up things I’ll regret in my last days.
I recently won a $1,000 bottle of Bourbon (Pappy Van Winkle, 10 Year) in a youth sports auction…and had considered using it as a business gift to close a future deal, rather than drink it myself.
But Bryan Johnson’s fanaticism has convinced me to pop the cork on that one…some decisions are worth making because of whimsy. If you reduce life to the cold, hard facts…you wind up with a cold, hard life.
“Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.”
-Ecclesiastes 9:7
[two]
Well…turns out if you scream at your boss in a meeting that he’s “murdering” the show you’re on…you’re probably going to get fired.
From the Seattle Times:
Bari Weiss, the CBS News editor-in-chief, told her newsroom Wednesday morning that the network fired “60 Minutes” correspondent Scott Pelley because a “foundation” of trust had been broken after he assailed CBS leadership.
“I’m only interested in working in a newsroom that is built on trust and mutual respect; we cannot do our work without it,” Weiss said on a 9 a.m. editorial call, according to a recording that was obtained by The New York Times.
“That foundation was broken on Monday,” she continued, referring to the explosive “60 Minutes” staff meeting where Pelley said that Weiss was “murdering ‘60 Minutes’” and asserted that Nick Bilton, the tech journalist hired to run the show, would “never be welcome.”
Before we get to Pelley’s response…no adult should behave in this manner (screaming in a meeting) and be given any kind of professional respect.
If you have that much of an issue with your employer, the ethical thing to do is shut up until you have another job, then give your two weeks notice…and clearly spell out why you’re headed out the door.
I doubt that fact was lost on Pelley, who was likely angling to get fired rather than accept less screen time on the storied news show…and now he’s playing the martyr.
“For my part, new management has instructed me to inject falsehoods and bias into a politically sensitive story. I’ve been told to include assertions that are unverified. To date, in every case, I have managed to ignore these instructions or refuse them. Recently, politicians have been invited to choose correspondents for interviews on the broadcast. Giving politicians control over 60 Minutes interviews is not how this is done. Finally, incompetence and unprofessionalism in the new management have wreaked havoc. In a case involving one of my stories, the entire program came within 19 minutes of not getting on the air at all.”
— Scott Pelley, statement following his termination from 60 Minutes
Hey, if that’s the case…Pelley should provide the evidence of which stories were corrupted with unverified sources.
Since he hasn’t…I’m going to have to file this one under what the internet refers to as “vagueposting,” the hazy content sharing of if “people only knew the truth” without providing any evidence or facts to back up the claim (because there are none). On the other hand, if Scott brings forth specific, provable details about these accusations, my opinion will do a 180.
But as it stands, the narrative that Pelley wants desperately to push here is that he was forced out of CBS after 37 years by that “right winger Bari Weiss.”
In reality, Weiss is a centrist lesbian who’s very pro LGBT, pro abortion, leans slightly left on economic issues, and has been quite critical of President Trump (as well as President Biden, etc), so the idea that Pelley got fired in order to make way for a “MAGA Agenda” is quite laughable.
The shakeup at 60 Minutes just proves once again that celebrities will throw themselves on the floor and kick and scream like a toddler in the grocery store after a parent delivers the news that we “won’t be eating Froot Loops at every meal.”
For all the digital ink spilled this week over Pelley’s firing, this isn’t a story of “suppressing the truth.” Just one of absurdly bad workplace behavior.
[three]
Well, PRIDE month is upon us…and one of the most popular video games in the world is mad that people are mad that they made the characters gay.
Changing the narrative of an IP is pretty different than Pride month marketing. For example:
Pride parades…I mean, I think anyone can hold a parade if they have money, organization and file for a license with the city they’re in. I have no opinions on most parades, and do not attend most parades. (I am angered that Pride parades get away with public nudity…that stuff has no place anywhere with kids).
Sports teams…do all kinds out outreaches to specific groups, from little league teams to church groups. Some players may (or may not) participate in Pride month, but it’s not changing what’s happening on the field either way.
Restaurant chains run Pride month specials or change their cup colors. Nobody’s altering the menu permanently.
That stuff may be mildly annoying in the way that pretty much all corporate messaging being forced on you is…it’s also pretty easily ignored. I’d respect the LGBT events in June a lot more if they were advocating for the gay people being hanged from cranes in Iran. There is real persecution of gay people in the world…but a Fox News saying a thing you don’t like, on a channel you don’t watch, is not the same as getting stoned to death outside your village in Afghanistan.
That’s advocacy that everyone should get behind. Not murdering people should be a universal human value.
But instead, the June movement is mainly about stuff like pressuring a game developer to make Master Chief from HALO gay for 1 out of every 12 months… which changes the narrative of the product.
In the games, Master Chief was kidnapped from his family and enhanced as a cyborg. He’s stoic, wounded…and lonely. His only real friend is an onboard AI. Making him gay is really dumb…but so would be giving him a straight romance. He’s a half machine who sacrifices himself to kill aliens and keep humanity safe.
HALO's deeper message…political extremism, the dangers of cult thinking, a pro-democracy throughline…is genuinely well constructed. Forcing the character to be gay (and then removing that) robs the story that is happening.
And it’s worth noting that HALO absolutely have several chances to align with causes close to the games…but choose not to.
“Notice how they did nothing for Military Appreciation Month, Veterans Day, Memorial Day, or Mens Mental Health Awareness Month despite making Master Chiefs mental trauma a focus of their games.”
— @SinWithSloth
I’m sure the think pieces are inbound as we speak, just like the alien invaders in the HALO games, about how not liking the rainbow armor is homophobic. That’s absurd.
Just as most of us normies are sick of political messaging in movies and TV (and that includes both Conservative and Liberal messages alike—although the latter gets more screen time), we just don’t want ANY sexual orientation shoved into stories where none is needed, and layering propaganda just ruins an otherwise powerful message.
If we’re going to heal the country…we need lots of shared spaces (like sports, movies, video games) where we can have common experiences, regardless of what we believe on divisive topics.
…and we just lost another one.
[four]
Well, this is interesting…the constant cycle of remakes/prequels/sequels may be dying…because less people are showing up at the local multiplex for them.
And the new conquerors of the movie theaters?
Gen Z horror directors barely out of their teens.
From Variety:
This weekend was one for the box office history books.
Movie theaters across the nation were jamming with Gen Z crowds, who showed up en masse for not one but two buzzy horror films. A24’s “Backrooms” collected a jaw-dropping, record-breaking $81 million from 3,442 North American theaters in its opening weekend. That’s as ticket sales for the Focus Features breakout “Obsession” jumped again in its third frame with $26.4 million from 2,781 cinemas — and crossed the $100 million mark domestically. Both movies were directed by YouTube stars and cost nearly nothing to produce, upending conventional wisdom about the necessary components for a hit.
“This should empower the industry. There’s a new audience, and they’re waiting for this kind of content,” says analyst Jeff Bock of Exhibitor Relations. “We knew indie horror was hot, but we didn’t know how hot. It’s actually competing with the big summer blockbusters.”
The original fare ruling is especially striking at the start of summer movie season, a period that’s usually dominated by major franchises. Yet Disney’s “Star Wars” spinoff, “The Mandalorian and Grogu,” suffered a catastrophic 70% drop in its second weekend, signaling the property isn’t catering beyond an aging group of core fans. Despite playing on far more screens, “The Mandalorian and Grogu” landed in third place on weekend charts behind “Backrooms” and “Obsession.”
Directed by 20-year-old Kane Parsons, “Backrooms” has earned $118 million globally so far. The psychological thriller has obliterated projections, with early tracking suggesting a $40 million to $50 million domestic debut. With a production budget of roughly $10 million, it’s already one of the most profitable movies of the year. Though a sequel hasn’t been announced, Parsons has already started toying with the idea of turning “Backrooms” into a film franchise.
Well, I’m not much of a horror guy, but love that we’re seeing new blood make creative projects.
[five]
As always, let’s head into the weekend with a pop culture roundup:
[official reccomendation] Well, The Sheep Detectives is officially my favorite kids movie of all time. It’s the elementary school version of Knives Out meets Agatha Christie. If you’ve got little ones, run to the theater for this one.
It's rare that a movie obviously has something to say AND looks like it's a really fun watch. How to Rob a Bank has a heck of a premise: a crew of bank robbers starts posting their heists on social media and goes viral — turns out they're making a point about a corrupt system.
The cast is stacked: Nicholas Hoult (Superman, The Menu), Zoë Kravitz (The Batman, Big Little Lies), Pete Davidson (The King of Staten Island, SNL), and John C. Reilly (Step Brothers, Walk Hard).
Oh, and director David Leitch has already turned in Bullet Train and The Fall Guy…so I’ve got high hopes.
Ideally, this movie will lean more in the direction of the facts…that bank bailouts are Corporate Cronyism run amok…and not come out for Bernie Sanders socialist slop…but even if it does, this still looks fun (it just might be wrong).
09/04.
…and speaking of stealing money, Anya Taylor-Joy (Furiosa, Peaky Blinders) steps into the lead of a new show that’s…well, the trailer is more about the vibes than the plot.
Her husband stole money from his mom (maybe) and left her holding the (empty) bag. She’s on the run from the FBI. She steals an armored car.
Oh, and Timothy Olyphant (Justified, Deadwood) and Annette Benning (American Beauty, The Kids Are Alright) round out the leading casts. This looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. Streaming 07/15.
I mean…dinosaur movies work, don't they? The full trailer dropped for The End of Oak Street, in which Ewan McGregor (Trainspotting, Star Wars) and Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada, The Dark Knight Rises) awaken to find out their whole neighborhood has been…transported back in time? Dinosaurs show up?
Either way, this looks fun. 08/14.
I'm not always up for a family drama (sometimes they're just too sad, and real life is hard enough without your entertainment beating you up after work) but Yale looks interesting. Caitlin McGee (Bluff City Law, Home Economics) plays a single mother whose years-long battle with drug and alcohol addiction has driven a deep rift between her and her 12-year-old son Ryan.
Then the real problem arrives: Ryan needs a kidney to stay alive, and the only possible match is the father who abandoned her decades ago.
Kevin Dunn (Transformers, Veep) plays Yale Parker, and he shows up with a jaw-dropping secret: he's been running eight separate families she never knew existed. Somewhere in that mess might be a half-sibling who can save her son's life.
This one goes to festivals first…no wide release yet.
[new music]
Michael Cochren grew up a worship leader in small-town southern Indiana — Montgomery, to be exact — and built Cochren & Co. from regional Midwest touring into a genuine CCM force…you can find threads of Billy Joel, Ray Charles, and NEEDTOBREATHE in the sonic footprints here….I don’t always play an album front to back at first listen, but this one got its hooks in me.
Worth your Friday.
Jack Antonoff has quietly become one of the most important people in pop music…not as a frontman, but as the guy behind the glass. Taylor Swift, Lorde, Lana Del Rey, Sabrina Carpenter, St. Vincent, Carly Rae Jepsen, Billie Eilish…if you've listened to pop radio in the last decade, you've heard his audio fingerprints.
His own band, Bleachers, has never quite broken through the way the artists he produces have. The Jersey-born six piece drops their latest, everyone for ten minutes, and the reviews are split between “their best work ever” and “more of the same.”
I haven’t come to a conclusion yet, but their mix of Springsteen-esque choruses mixed with shoegaze, indie and even Gospel…makes for a compelling first play through.
Until the next one,
-sth