Disney Turns a Fairy Tale Into...a Workplace Drama?, Why We Can't Spank Shoplifters in Civil Society, Yellowstone Creator's Next Great Western?, The John Wick Spinoff Show.(The Five for 08/11/23)
Plus, is this art heist movie about Hunter Biden? And a Virginia songwriter achieves a Zach Bryan level of buzz.
Hey, welcome to The Five.
Let’s do some Culture & Commentary.
[one]
At this point, you’ve probably seen the footage of 7-Eleven clerks beating the tar out of a thief with a mop handle.
It’s hilarious, and probably poetic justice (the guy had robbed that store several times previously).
A suspected shoplifter beaten by two 7-Eleven clerks in a viral video allegedly stole from the same California location at least twice before the employees took him down, police said as they revealed the workers are under investigation for possible assault.
Stockton police shed new light over the weekend on the July 29 confrontation in which the pair of workers used a stick to wallop a man who tried to swipe a trash can full of cigarettes.
The footage of the beating, which quickly went viral last week, showed one employee holding down the suspect while his coworker whacked him almost 25 times — while the alleged robber screamed in agony.
The encounter was at least a day in the making, according to cops.
The suspect went behind the counter and threatened to shoot an employee if he tried to stop him the day before at around 3:40 a.m., police said in a news release.
Again, I’m laughing at a brazen, repeated shoplifter getting an adult spanking (not that kind, you perv), but the fact that charges came are no surprise.
Keep in mind, the employees allowed this video to come out…for the social media clout. And, frustrated as they might have been, you can’t just beat someone like it’s the year 1620 over shoplifting.
There’s a minor public outcry about charges against the clerks being filed, considering Stockton, CA isn’t doing enough to stop shoplifting…but again, these people broke the law by beating a dude, and put it on the internet.
They now have to face the consequences of that.
Two things can be true at once.
A thing can be funny.
And also get you into trouble with the law.
[two]
Even if you’re not Christian (in general) or protestant (in particular), hang with me on this megachurch pastor story, as it has wider cultural implications.
Before we dive in, I need to disclose that Matt Chandler allegedly tried to have this article from Relevant Magazine pulled down because I was critical of him (my editor shared this with me). So, I may have some personal bias going on.
From a video posted to Twitter:
One of the firms that’s helping us find [staff] said 'let me ask you a question Pastor Matt. If we find an Anglo 8 and an African American 7, which one do you want?’ I said ‘give me the African American 7.’
He said ‘what if we find the Anglo 8 and an African American 6.’ I said ‘then I said ‘give me the Anglo 8, because that’s the African American 6 will look and feel to our people like the kind of tokenism I’m preaching against.
Chandler is being criticized as going too hard on diversity, and not going hard enough. To be honest, I found his comments to be…rather nonsensical, but the clip was cut in a way to make him look bad and remove context.
To be fair, if your church (or corporate brand) is trying to reach a more diverse audience, it doesn’t hurt to have some people who look like the folks you’re trying to connect with—including on stage (or, in a corporate sense—in advertising, etc). I have no particular thoughts about how Chandler’s church hires staff, but it’s worth providing context on why many online found this clip to be enraging.
In 2015, Chandler’s church told a woman she wasn’t allowed to file for divorce after she caught her husband with child porn, and she also wasn’t allowed to shop attending their church or withdraw her membership.
Later, Chandler was caught in a scandal involving an inappropriate relationship.
Perhaps some are mad that Chandler said something about diversity…but the wider theme here is celebrity hypocrisy. Chandler is a “celebrity” to a subset of Evangelicals, and has amassed a net worth of $3-5M, if the internet is to be believed.
I have no issue with pastors, or anyone else, engaging in ethical business and growing wealth (in fact, I encourage it—get off your couch and make some money!), but it’s a hard pill to swallow that Chandler has not relinquished his public platform (which could be filled by a minority pastor, if the church chose to), because he has a very comfortable life.
It smacks of the same inconsistency of celebrities singing some dumb Beatles song and telling you to stay in your house while they partied the lockdowns away on private islands.
One of the things tearing society apart at the seams is that the people who are demanding change…do not live lives aligned with the messages they’re preaching (both figuratively and literally), which is degrading trust in all institutions—church, government, education, civic and business.
If you want to help counteract this…just don’t lie. And don’t tell people to do thing you won’t do yourself.
[three]
Ugh. I don’t want to, but here goes on the Snow White drama…not because I care, but because it matters in the wider context of movies.
The live remake of Snow White will not feature “seven dwarfs” but rather “seven companions,” who all look like Ren Fair meth users (but there I go repeating myself again). The “dwarfs” thing went away, thanks in large part to the outcries of Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones, Elf), so Disney turned the 7 dwarfs into…carnival workers. In turn, Wee Man of Jackass fame is offended that roles for people with dwarfism are being erased (the medical terminology, according to Mayo Clinic).
Finally, Snow White…isn’t Snow White anymore, narrative wise, according to Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman, Justice League).
“She’s not going to be saved by the prince and she will not be dreaming about true love. She’s dreaming about becoming the leader that she knows she can be.”
Uhhh…wut?
So, Snow White is going to go the way of The Intern, Morning Glory, The Morning Show, The Devil Wears Prada, Joy, Big Eyes and Up in the Air? There are some great movies and TV shows about women in business, entrepuerial and inventor roles, both true and fictional tales.
And you know what they all have in common? They aren’t fairy tales, which communicate classic values throughout the ages…which is why they keep coming up and being remade for every generation.
My guess here is that if and when the Snow White movie fails, the actors, director or Disney will blame the audience for being stupid, the way the showrunner for The Witcher is doing right now—she said audiences are too dumb to get the source material from the novels—no, that’s what fans of novels and games WANTED, and Netflix didn’t deliver. Forbes hits the nail on the head here. Good Lord, if they do the same thing to Narnia…
It’s easier to criticize than create…but it’s easier to just take a beloved story and just put it up on the screen, rather than rip it apart and take a financial loss at the box office.
In the case of Snow White, I don’t care at all…but the wider trend irks me.
Another way to look at this…Snow White is a character we know, put into a setting, plot and even GENRE, where she hasn’t been before.
Let’s do this with another character—we take Wolverine from the X-Men and put him in a remake of Golden Girls. And Wolverine doesn’t fight bad guys anymore…now, he invents the Beanie Baby.
See…film isn’t a business where you can throw random elements into a hat, and come out with a hit.
The rules of narrative exist for a reason. When they’re broken, the audience feels lost.
[four]
Hip hop turns 50 today…an entire genre that came about because Cindy Campbell of The Bronx was…trying to save money.
From The Washington Post.
What ended as the day that hip-hop was born began hours before with Cindy Campbell hoping she could buy some new clothes to impress her classmates.
Campbell thought the fastest and most fun way to upgrade her wardrobe, and bring joy to the Bronx during a period of despair, was to throw a back-to-school party in the recreation room at 1520 Sedgwick Ave. But as the expenses kept piling up in August 1973 — renting out the room for $25, buying hot dogs and soda wholesale, supplying bottles of malt liquor — Campbell, then 15, knew the “Back-to-School Jam” would flop unless she found a musical act that she could afford.
It’s why she turned to her 18-year-old brother, Clive, whom the community knew as DJ Kool Herc. She knew him as having a booming sound system in his room and being the cheapest music option available for a party on Aug. 11, 1973, that was charging admission of 25 cents for girls and 50 cents for boys.
“I’m thinking, ‘How can I cut my costs?’ … When you have your party, you got to have the music. So I said, ‘It’ll be free because I don’t have to pay for it.’” Campbell, now 65, recalled in a 2021 interview with the Breakdown FM podcast. “I was cutting costs!”
Because of the word count limit of Substack…Herc started speaking in a sing-song-y voice during the transitions between songs, and interacting with the crowd.
And hip hop was born.
You can stream a concert from The Bronx tonight for free on YouTube, featuring these artists.
[five]
As always, let’s head into the weekend with a pop culture roundup:
When I found out that John Wick creator/co-writer/director Chad Stahelski had nothing to do with the 1970’s spinoff The Continental, about a hotel for assassins, I got nervous. Stahelski leans heavily into the lore from franchises like Lord of the Rings and the Matrix films to create a world that goes far beyond the typical shoot-em-up in favor of a fictional world rich with symbolism.
At first glance…the high points of the John Wick franchise are here…even if only a couple of the characters from the film (and much younger at that) are popping up in the TV show.
Yessss. I’m a huge fan of writer/showrunner Taylor Sheridan (Yellowstone, 1883, 1923, Lioness, Tulsa King) as well as the real Bass Reeves, a real life Deputy Marshall from 1875-1907 in Oklahoma.
Born into slavery, Reeves escaped during the Civil War and fled to “Indian Territory” (as it was known at the time), and learned to speak Seminole, Cherokee and other native languages. After the conclusion of the war, Reeves became a legendary lawman, who brought 3,000 fugitives to justice. Reeves often disguised himself as a homeless tramp to get close to outlaws to arrest them. It’s crazy that it’s taken Hollywood over 120 year to get this story to the screen.
David Oywelo (Selma, Silo) takes the lead, but failed to grow out the epic mustache…
Releasing on Paramount+ this fall.
Woah! Rising star Maya Hawke (Stranger Things) pairs up with Uma Thurman (Kill Bill Vol 1, 2) and Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction, Snakes on a Plane) for a movie about laundering money through…really bad art.
No, it’s not the Hunter Biden story. Not officially, at least.
Catch it in theaters 09/23.
Dang, Hillary Swank shows up in fine acting form once again. The 2x Oscar winner leads The Good Mother. The story follows a woman who teams up with the pregnant girlfriend of her estranged son to find his killers.
NEW MUSIC
I don’t know much about Oliver Anthony (nobody does at this point), but his song went viral this week, to a Zach Bryan level of buzz.
Until the next one,
-sth