Comedian Calls to "Murder" Billionaires, 48 Hours Until Your Kindle Purchases "Lock" Forever, New Christopher Nolan Movie "Ruined" By a Single Costume? (The Five for 02/24/25)
Plus, Blink-182 bassist drops a memoir. "Gladiator" director's new crime thriller is a must-watch. This stand up comic's memoir reads like Hillbilly Elegy.
Hey, welcome to The Five, a publication about the stories that matter.
Culture & Commentary typically publishes on Fridays, but I was severely ill last week, so let’s do this thing on on Monday.
[one]
Bill comedian on billionaires
TREVOR NOAH: I think the part of the reason Finland is able to do it is because, have you been to Finland?
RUHA BENJAMIN: It's very homogenous.
NOAH: I've been to Finland. You know who's in Finland? Finnish people.
That's it. That's it. And because they're all Finnish, there's an idea of like, no, we all head in the same direction.
We all know what our actions mean. And that's a really powerful thing I've learned in communicating with other people. When I'm in a room with anyone where we start to tie together multiple things.
So if I'm in a room with black people, already there's like an implicit trust because we know what certain actions, words and vibes mean. But I would love to know if you think integration was the right solution maybe on the other side of, you know, of civil rights?
BENJAMIN: Yeah. No, I don't. And I don't think it's actually that controversial.
If you understand that segregation and integration weren't the only options. And you're being integrated into institutions, into a culture that's a culture that feeds off of hierarchy, that feeds off of insecurity, anxiety. Why are we being integrated into that?
I don’t want to just dunk on someone for proposing a different idea, and Noah isn’t wrong that there were other options (although they range from very difficult to downright silly), and if you want to read about alternatives to “segregation or integration,” here’ an AI summary.
But one thing the “comedian” (click here for a series of jokes not landing) doesn’t get about America’s “Melting Pot,” is that it attracts the best and brightest from around the world, which is a main reason our economy, compared to the rest of the world, is so robust. Europe is incredibly homogeneous…and also doesn’t do much, economically speaking.
ALL of their startups from the last five decades…are together worth less than The Home Depot.
Noah, the son of a single mom factory worker, immigrated to the U.S. in 2011, and has built a staggering $100M net worth. And moved away from South Africa…a country that did not benefit in any way from segregation. Noah seems to have hit that stage of wealth called “I don’t hang out with anyone who isn’t on my payroll,” as any of his buddies coming up in the comedy scene would have roasted him for the semi-truck sized holes in his argument.
…but Noah better not make any MORE money, or comedian Bill Burr will have to murder him, according to to a rant on Burr’s most recent podcast about…murdering billionaires.
"The amount of people that are struggling out there because of these f--king billionaires, and they got us all arguing liberal and conservative," Burr ranted, referring to the current state of politics. "We gotta stop doing that, like I am so tired of hearing about people going to bed worried about what’s going to happen next week. There is so much f--king money in this country, and there is so much work being done.
"And if you work a whole f--king week at a job, you should be able to pay your f--king rent," he lamented. "You shouldn’t have to go out and get another f--king job and still be struggling. It’s bad for the country 'cause the kids don’t see their parents and they’re not getting the upbringing they need.”
"These f--king billionaires! They need to be put down, you know? Like f--king rabid dogs," Burr continued. "They’re rabid with f--king greed, and just going out and just dividing everybody."
I’m actually a fan of his comedy, but it’s worth keeping in mind here that Bill Burr is worth TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS.
Bill’s main hobby is piloting fancy helicopters, which can rack up a tab of up to $3,000 per hour.
The through line between the two is that Burr and Noah claim to hate the world…that made them impossibly rich, by historical and global standards. Somehow, it’s always the fault of the slightly more rich, as opposed to Burr’s responsibility to skip a single helicopter flight to pay rent for a few single moms…
[two]
You have until February 26th to download your kindle book purchases from Amazon (instructions here) before they’re locked forever. There are a lot of reasons to backup these purchases, and move to a competitor e-reader like a Kobo…with blocking censorship may be among the most important.
There have been some examples of where Amazon has reached into our Kindle devices and removed books. In fact, back in 2009, Big Brother Bezos deleted 1984 and Animal Farm from Kindles everywhere. Just last year, Puffin Books edited many of Roald Dahl's books, including Matilda and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to be more socially conscious by removing words like "fat" and "ugly." Those edits were pushed into digital copies of the books already in customers' possession.
Books have always been unchanging snapshots directly into an author's mind. They are instruments of record. But when companies can change their content on the fly, well, that can change everything.
When people were able to keep their own copies of books, they had that instrument of record. But when books are changed on the fly, and we can't see the previous versions anymore, it's possible to rewrite history.
Ugh. That’s pretty gross behavior on Amazon’s part. But there’s another side to this story…physical books are doing pretty dang well.
According to British advertising exec Rory Sutherland:
I thought when the bloody Kindle came out, I thought the books were dead. Okay? I was completely wrong. And that's because that defines the function of a book as text you can read on a portable device. Probably 50 percent of the function of a book, by the way, is giving it as a present to someone else.
Actually furnishing your room. There are lots and lots of other roles for a book, which just doesn't satisfy. Interestingly, about 50 to 60 percent of publisher sales are in the run up to Christmas. You can't really give someone an electronic book. In some weird way, this hasn't replaced the magazine. I thought the tablet would.
So what you've actually seen is that more paper books are now sold than at any time before in history, and the market for electronic books and reading devices has essentially plateaued.
You have two days left to download your books, before they’re locked forever.
[three]
Late last week, Hamas returned the bodies of three kidnapped Israelis, including a mother and two toddlers…claiming the trio had been killed by an Israeli bombing, but not before the children’s coffins were on display for a parade where the locals celebrated their deaths, both in Gaza (video), and around the world in places like Toronto (video).
The BBC reports:
Israel's forensic officials have confirmed a body handed over by Hamas on Friday is that of hostage Shiri Bibas - but have rejected Hamas's claim that she was killed by Israeli bombing.
Dr Chen Kugel, director of Israel's National Institute of Forensic Medicine, said an examination found "no evidence of injuries caused by bombing".On Friday, Israel said that the two children of Shiri Bibas - Ariel and Kfir - had been killed with "bare hands" and that evidence of this had been sent to Israel's partners around the world. The BBC has not seen or verified this evidence.
Hamas has said the children and their mother were killed by Israeli bombing, without providing evidence.
Celebrating the deaths of a toddler and an infant is…pretty dang unthinkable, and should not be blamed on Islam (more on that below), as we have never seen behavior like this in the U.S. conflicts with Al Qaeda or ISIS. But the thing no one in the media wants to talk about…is the rate of inbreeding in Gaza.
Data from the Palestinian Territories, based on surveys of ever-married women aged 15-54 in 1995 and 2004, showed consanguinity rates at 45% of all marriages in 2004, with a slight decline over time after adjusting for variables like age and region. About 25-30% of these were first-cousin marriages, a common type in the region. In the Gaza Strip specifically, a large-scale study using data from a β-thalassemia premarital screening program (covering 156,635 individuals) found consanguineous marriages dropped from 45.2% in the previous generation to 39.9% in the current one, with first- and second-cousin unions still dominant. Another study of nearly 2,000 Palestinian Arab families visiting a genetics clinic at Hadassah Medical Center pegged the overall consanguinity rate at 44.3%, with 22.6% being first-cousin marriages. Among families with rare autosomal recessive disorders, the rate spiked to 92.5%, highlighting how inbreeding amplifies genetic risks.
Lest you think it’s a Muslim-only thing, Palestinian Christians show similar rates of first-cousin marriage, and Anti-Semitism on par with Muslims as well.
There are several ways inbreeding can result in higher rates of aggression in the population, again summarized from AI:
Increased Expression of Recessive Traits – Inbreeding increases the likelihood that offspring inherit two copies of recessive genes, including those affecting brain function, impulse control, and aggression. If a population has genetic predispositions for aggressive behavior, inbreeding can amplify those traits.
Reduced Cognitive Function & Behavioral Stability – Some inbred populations show deficits in cognitive ability and impulse control, which can contribute to aggression. This has been observed in both animal studies and human populations with high levels of inbreeding.
Hormonal Imbalances – Inbreeding can lead to endocrine system issues, including abnormal levels of testosterone and other hormones linked to aggression.
Neurological & Psychiatric Disorders – Inbred populations have higher risks of schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety, which can sometimes be linked to increased aggression or erratic behavior.
There’s also a 7 point IQ drop, on average, of the children of first-cousin marriages...from a single generation. What generational cousin inbreeding does…has not been studied.
Muslim leaders in Saudi Arabia and the UAE condemned the funeral celebrations. These two countries are 90% Sunni, while the Palestinians are Shia Muslims, which is worth noting…but not the whole story. Shia Muslims aren’t documented as celebrating toddler murder anywhere else in the world.
I say this without a hint of sarcasm or humor…any long term peace plan involving the Palestinians should involve strictly outlawing inter-family marriage.
[four]
A good way to understand politics is that a party starts losing the moment they take power…but how long it takes them to cede the branches of government back over to the other side…depends largely on the other side.
Well, “Liberal Regina George” (a reference to a character in the aughts classic comedy Mean Girls) has gone viral for claiming the key to political victory is…being mean.
Everyone's getting on here now being like, oh liberals need to be meaner, democrats need to be meaner. Say less, babe. Do you know how many reformed mean girls have been waiting for this exact moment in time? I'm an ex sec sorority girl, okay? I have three brothers and an irish catholic mother. I know me.
Not all of us were meant to be miss rachel liberals, okay? Not all of us were meant to be michelle obama, jack schlossberg liberals. Some of us were meant to be regina george liberals. Lucille Bluth, Principal Ava Coleman, Liberals. The gift that Regina George Liberals bring to the table is our ability to be so quick with our insults, so scathingly precise, so accurate, they don't even know that it's happened until it's over.
They just sit there with their burnt orange nails, hand over their mouth, like, oh my god, what just happened? But if we're really gonna do this, I need y'all to really let us do it, okay? Because when I made that video about that one, I'm Not a Feminist Girl, and I did mention her chunky highlights, some of y'all were like, oh my god, no!
We need to support women, don't be like that. Mm mm. Y'all, y'all did it your way, and we're doing it our way.
There’s a saying in politics “that will play in Peoria,” referencing to a campaign platform having a broad enough appeal to scoop up the union workers in Peoria, IL, a purple area in the dead center of the country.
Well, insulting as a strategy to get people to vote differently…aint gonna play in Peoria. Or anywhere else, for that matter.
[five]
As always, let's head into the weekend with a pop culture roundup…
[movies]: Will Smith is teaming up with Michael B. Jordan (CREED, Black Panther) for a sequel to his zombie flick I Am Legend. || Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight Trilogy, Inception) can succeed in virtually any genre, but is the to take on a “sword and sandals" flick until now. Nolan dropped an image of Matt Damon as the lead on an upcoming big screen interpretation of the classic ancient work The Odyssey. Armchair historians were quick to whine that the armor should look like the image on the right, to be period accurate.
While this may be true, the correct armor would cover the actors faces of the actors and ruin the movie…
[shows]: Reacher season 3 has earned the rare 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes at the time of this writing. || Zombie horror series The Last of Us season 2 hits HBO/Max on 04/13. || Marvel Studios is “exploring” bringing back the full roster of Defenders characters that appeared on Netflix shows, including Luke Cage, Jessica Jones and Iron Fist. Cool. || After the smash success (like, really, really mega success) of Cobra Kai, another 80’s classic, Back to the Future, may be up next for a spinoff TV show, set in the timeline of Back to the Future II.
[music]: Alt-metal heroes Underoath have a new album coming out, and the first single is a banger (info & listen), which was inspired by 90’s drum & bass artists like The Prodigy. || Mark Hoppus is releasing a memoir of the Blink 182 story, and will be heading out on a brief solo tour.
Hoooooly Cow. Ridley Scott (Gladiator, The Martian) is co-producing and directed the pilot episode for Dope Thief, which follows two guys who impersonate DEA agents to rob drug dealers. Bryan Tyree Henry (WIDOWS, Bullet Train) and Wagner Moura (Civil War, Narcos) are both incredible actors. Streaming 03/14.
A comedy thriller filled with 80’s nostalgia, vintage hip hop…and robbing an NBA player during gametime? And Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian, Game of Thrones) is the lead? Say no more…I will be watching.
I remember when this story first broke, about a family who allegedly adopted an adult with a rare form of dwarfism that allowed her to pass as a child…and that she allegedly tried to murder them.
This looks very watchable, if you’re into IRL horror. Streaming 03/19.
[new music]
Charles Wesley Godwin hit the national stage, literally and figuratively, by opening for Zach Bryan on his dramatic rise. If you’ve never checked out the West Virginia native, he colors his country music with a healthy dose of mountain culture. Godwin releases a new EP at the end of the month.
The first single is one of my favorite songs of 2025 so far.
[read and learn]
Even if you were not a fan of Matt Rife’s stand-up, the fact that his rags-to-riches story is so similar to Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance.
Like the Vice President, Rife grew up in a small Ohio community in an area economically ravages by NAFTA and socially and spiritually ravaged by the opioid epidemic. There are jokes mixed in, but this is more a story about overcoming poverty and finding your unique voice.
Once again, the Deep Talks podcast/YouTube channel brings the heat. This time, diving into how Peaky Blinders shows the breaking of early postmodernism. If there was no Nietzsche, there could be no Peaky Blinders. If you were ever a fan of the show, give this one 10 minutes…
Until the next one,
-sth